Barium Swallow

Okay, I'm not at all interested in this, but I had to get a barium swallow a year ago. First they made me swallow these little dry pellets that expanded my throat. It was like swallowing dry lemon-lime soda. The bad thing about it was that I couldn't burp. They told me if I burped, I'd have to come back and do the test all over again. It was horrible. But the worst part was when they made me drink this barium stuff. It was a white thick substance that makes me want to throw up, just thinking about it. I had to lay down on this machine that turned me around (so the barium could coat my stomach lining). Okay--no burping allowed (after drinking dry carbonation), drink this milky white substance, and we'll turn you around on this machine. Fun, huh? After about 5 minutes, I think I burped a new record for myself--good thing they had seen enough--I didn't have to come back.

All for what? Well, I didn't have ulcers. Six months later I was in the hospital having surgery to have my gall bladder removed.